I have been following Tom Bilyeu’s Maximize Your Mindset Reading List, and I’m onto my next book, “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown. This article is my Daring Greatly book review where I share my biggest takeaways from the book.
Brene Brown is one of the most influential people that sparked the start of revolutionizing how people show up in the world and how they work with vulnerability and shame – ultimately bringing up these topics in the corporate culture where for years wasn’t a safe place. Brene Brown’s work has made it become safe for many people in the corporate world to open up a conversation and release the stigma of shame in work.
Reading a book written by someone who I truly respected, I greatly enjoyed reading the book. It was relatable, practical, and honest.
If you’re on a journey for self-improvement or self-development, this book will help a lot in changing your mindset.
Being on a continuous self-development journey myself and coaching about self-awareness and self-improvement for others, I found myself resonating with the contents of the book. Here are my biggest takeaways that can help you too:
Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. And, experiencing vulnerability is not a choice, but something that we have to respond to.
We have a lot of things happening around us – and sometimes, they’re not so great. We get lazy or tied, we fail, and we face adversities. How we respond to that is our choice. Do we pity ourselves and say that we’re not worthy? Or do we process it, feel the pain, and work to move forward?
External circumstances do not define you. Yes, it’s part of the equation of human experience, but it doesn’t define your self-worth whether it’s failure or even wins. We have to choose that we are lovably, worthy, and we can have joy.
Many people like to feel busy when at the back of their minds they feel vulnerable. It’s in our nature that we don’t want to feel vulnerable. When we’re so busy, the truth of the feeling of fear and pain cannot catch up – and when it finally does catch up, we burst or worse – redirect the pain to our important relationships that can lead to bridges being burnt.
When my dad died, I thought that if I was busy enough, I didn’t have to feel the pain and grieve. But emotions are energy in motion. They need to be felt, we need to let them seep through. We need to allow ourselves to process our emotions or else they get stuck and show up in other ways such as destructive stress or even illnesses.
Shame is part of the human experience – everyone has something to be shameful about. But, the difference with guilt and shame is:
Guilt = “I did something bad.”
Shame = “I am bad.”
Watching for that difference in language, being aware of the distinction is very important.
People who fail tend to attach their shame and guilt with themselves. Saying “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not worthy (of success).”
When we are self-aware, you can detach shame and guilt from your being and self-worth. You know that it’s the idea that failed, not you. You weren’t in the right circumstances, and there is something you can improve.
Without self-awareness, we can’t fix whatever the issue is.
Fear and vulnerability are very strong emotions. Our default response is anger or self-destruction. But if you are self-aware of your feelings, you can process it. It’s okay to be afraid, most people are! But getting to the root cause and solving the issues right then and there will bring you more happiness and fulfillment in life. The journey doesn’t have to be perfect. As I’ve always said, done is better than perfect.
If there is someone, maybe a group who needs to hear more about self-worth and handling shame and vulnerability, please don’t hesitate to reach out!
0:54-2:27 Tom Bilyeu Curated Books
2:32-3:52 Brene Brown
3:53-30:51 Daring Greatly Book Review & Takeaways
31:05-31:50 Final Words