Feel Like Nothing You Ever Do Is Good Enough? People Pleasers Change The Script!

people pleasers take your own advice picture of Allison Graham leaning against a wall with a white shirt and white jeans and a blue cardigan

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A coaching client was frustrated.

She shared, “At my annual review, the CEO told me to speak up in meetings. Then, when I do, my colleagues appear to be irritated and ignore my ideas.”

Another client was frustrated, as well. “The group I joined said it was a safe place to be vulnerable and encouraged me to share. Then, I told the truth about my situation, and I was shunned.”

I understand.

A lot of advice sounds good in theory, but in reality backfires. There are a lot of contradictions in life. Confusion is bound to happen.

If we look to others for ideas on how to live our best life then we’re always going to be ping-ponging back and forth, trying to please everyone.

I have a vivid memory from Grade 5. My teacher Mr. Ackford gave a lesson on a popular insight:

“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.”

My young mind couldn’t make sense of it.

In fact, the notion that it was impossible to please all of the people all of the time, was quite concerning for my people-pleaser, perfectionist tendencies.

Logically, it made sense; emotionally, it was disheartening.

Even as an adult, if you – like me – have a tendency to people please, then it can be a very frustrating cycle.

1. Try to please everyone.

2. Inevitably fail.

3. Feel like nothing you do is good enough.

4. Try harder to please everyone.

Sifting through the noise of other people’s opinions is tough. But so are you.

No one knows your circumstances as well as you do. Therefore, no one knows what’s best for you more than you do.

To truly step into your brilliance, it’s important to quiet the external voices to find your own opinion.

A long time ago, I adopted a process for filtering advice:

*choose whose advice you trust

*absorb it

*mull it over

*combine it with other bits of wisdom

*formulate your OWN, perfect-only-for-you advice

*trust yourself

Lately, I’ve gotten away from that process. My client conversations have inspired me to recommit to it.

What I wish Mr. Ackford taught my classmates and me at the tender age of 10 is, “When you try to please everyone, you’ll end up displeasing yourself.”

Ultimately, you do you. In doing so, trust you’ll find your people and your perfect-for-you path!

Allison “Mulling Around Advice” Graham

P.S. CONGRATULATIONS to the first people who registered for my Crunch Time Turnaround online course!! It’s a powerful system to stay focused when the pressure is on.

Even though we’re technically past the launch, I keep the offer to give you free bonus coaching session active. If you want a free look inside before you buy, just respond with SHOW ME and I’ll hook you up with a preview module.

Allison Graham headshot smiling leaning against a grey wall, blue cardigan and white top

Welcome! I'm Allison Graham

Let’s face it – life is tough enough without having behaviour patterns that make life harder than it needs to be! 

That’s why I’m obsessed with finding ways to make the human experience easier by offering strategies for problem solving, dealing with chronic pain, leveraging empowering stress, and stopping patterns that create destructive stress. 

I hope you find huge value in my content. To go deeper please check out my online courses, coaching, and keynote speeches