How to Be Less Irritated and Less Annoyed by Using Reverse Resilience

Feeling Irritated and annoyed with the Same Issues? Use Reverse Resilience to Fix It Once and For All on a light grey gradient background with Allison Graham leaning against a wall with her arms crossed and a slight smile. She's wearing a white shirt, white jeans and a blue cardigan.

(May 15th, 2024 Lift Up Email) Get the Lift Up delivered to your inbox here.

Are you familiar with my concept of Reverse Resilience?

The idea behind reverse resilience is to proactively problem solve in a way that removes a repeating irritation from your days. That way, you no longer need to use your micro-resilience resources to deal with that issue.

Reverse Resilience is the best way to free bandwidth to focus on priorities, be more productive, and live a happier, more fulfilling life.

Even if you love your life, there are typically undesirable aspects of our life that are stuck on repeat. This can cause unnecessary irritation in your workdays.

It could be…

  • – the way we interact with our loved ones.
  • – our expectations (often unmet) of others.
  • – our response to problems at work or a heavy workload.
    • – Or, as my coaching client joked with me on Monday’s call, “I really hate emails.”

(Can you relate?)

My coaching client did the tracking exercise that I’ve been recommending in the last couple of Lift Up emails.

As we went through her patterns and started strategizing ways to streamline her workflows, she made the joke about hating emails.

She skimmed over the idea, but to me, that’s a biggie, so I asked:

“How often do you get emails?”

“All the time.”

“Are they going to stop?”


“See the problem?”

If we repeat a negative response to a repeating issue, we will always be depleting our resources rather than optimizing them.

Letting things slide over-and-over again is a classic culprit that causes irritability and makes you feel extra annoyed.

My client and I dug deeper.

In addition to deploying better ways to manage a high-volume inbox (easy) was it possible to shift her opinion of email?

No longer would it be a burdensome task that takes too long.


  • – What if every email was a chance to be grateful for the person sending the note? 
  • – What if it was a prompt to reflect on the sender? What are their struggles, their wants, and their wins?
  • – What if your response could brighten their day and it creates a ripple effect of kindness?
  • – Not every email is deep and meaningful – obviously – but what does it hurt to believe it is?

You may be thinking, ‘Allison, that’s a little woo-woo, even for you.’

I get it.

BUT …imagine how being grateful for emails can have an accumulated impact on your energy.

Option A: you dread emails, procrastinate on them, and the inbox looms over your head as the thing you hate to do. 

Option B: you’re grateful for each message and send good vibes to each sender whenever you open your inbox.

“A” will deplete your resources. “B” will energize them.

If email is neutral for you – then this isn’t an issue, but the same principles apply for any repeating moment of angst.

  • – Doing the laundry.
  • – Washing the dishes.
  • – Taxiing your kids around.
  • – Dealing with difficult customers.

These are example of issues that will repeat; therefore, it’s up to you what emotion and storyline you attach to them.

If your storylines and emotions are negative, then you’ll require your micro-resilience muscles to activate.


If your storylines and emotions are neutral or positive you will no longer require your micro-resilience muscles to activate.

That’s Reverse Resilience! Read more about my Triple Resilience Model here.

Allison “Promoting Reverse Resilience” Graham

P.S. What is irritating you these days and in what situations could you apply the principles of Reverse Resilience?

P.S.S. Would you, your colleagues, or members of your team benefit from training on problem solving for human dynamics at work? How are you optimizing your performance without adding to the risk of burn out? Let me know by clicking here!

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Allison Graham headshot smiling leaning against a grey wall, blue cardigan and white top

Welcome! I'm Allison Graham

Let’s face it – life is tough enough without having behaviour patterns that make life harder than it needs to be! 

That’s why I’m obsessed with finding ways to make the human experience easier by offering strategies for problem solving, dealing with chronic pain, leveraging empowering stress, and stopping patterns that create destructive stress. 

I hope you find huge value in my content. To go deeper please check out my online courses, coaching, and keynote speeches