Logically, her plan made sense; but in reality, it was doomed to fail.

The executive’s strategy to prevent burnout for her team was to remove points of friction from the workplace. She expected fewer stressors meant everyone would be less stressed, and thus, happier coming to the office.

So far, her efforts were unsuccessful. She hired me to find out why, and here’s what I discovered.

The team had already streamlined systems to optimize workflows by doing things like replacing archaic computers that were slow. They’d even postponed projects to relieve pressure that was blamed on the high volume of work.

These solutions offered temporary relief. Weeks later, the same stress levels and team drama swirled again; burnout and absenteeism were on the rise.

When we first met, she explained her frustration, “It’s as if they forgot everything we’ve already fixed. What more can I do?”

When-X-Then-Y Thinking

I understood her perspective; I’ve been there – I imagine you have, too.

After working so hard to successfully deal with one issue, you just start to feel better, and another problem pops up in its place: you’re right back to feeling stressed again.

This cycle fuels disappointment because it’s based on When-X-Then-Y-Thinking. It’s the misguided expectation that when the variable ‘X’ – the stressor – is removed, the stressee will achieve the desired variable of ‘Y’ i.e. will feel less stressed. 

You may recognize this equation in conversations. It starts with a declaration of when ‘X’ happens …

“When I make it through this week and finish this project…”

“When we hire another team member…”

“When my leader stops micromanaging me…”

“When I lose 20 pounds…”

…then Y…

“…I won’t be so stressed and burned out.”

“…I’ll go have some fun.”

“…I’ll have time to take care of myself.”

“…I’ll apply for the big promotion.”

The trouble with When-X-Then-Y Thinking is the ‘X’ is a wildcard. You may have little-to-no control over ‘X’, or it may take a long time to happen. This means the goal of ‘Y’ remains an idealized future state you can’t quite reach.

Plus, finishing this week’s project doesn’t mean next week is going to be smooth sailing. ‘X’ is always replaced with another ‘X.’

The Damaging Nature of When-X-Then-Y Thinking

Never was When-X-Then-Y Thinking clearer to me than during a Zoom meeting with a group of senior-level leaders at a financial services firm. It was the first session to launch a six month training and coaching program. I asked them, “What needs to change for you to feel better and less stressed?”

Each person answered the question.

• For the firm to hire more staff so there’s less work to do.

• For my colleague to do her job better so I don’t have to pick up the slack.

• For my team to deal with their own fires so I can take a real vacation and relax. 

• For this big project to end so I can focus on my other clients.

• For my clients to be more responsive and give me their information on time so I’m not always under a time crunch.

Their answers reinforced the expectation of feel-good vibes happening after issues are fixed. But what does this belief do to their quality of life in the meantime?

The group quickly realized how each, in their own subtle way, was pushing their happiness into the elusive future. 

They pledged to reject When-X-Then-Y Thinking and get a grip on their stress levels based on current troubles and workload intensity, not tomorrow’s fantasy.

The electrifying sense of empowerment among the group was pulsing through my computer screen.

Everyone was on board with this idea except for one person who challenged the premise, “But Allison, I will feel less stressed when I get through this project.”

“Perhaps that’s true.” I counterbalanced his resistance by asking, “How many projects so far this year were intense enough for you to declare you’ll be less stressed when it’s done?”

He said, “There’s a crunch time every couple of weeks.”

“So, that means you spend almost half of your time at work wishing for a project to end so you can feel less stressed. How does this help you do your best work for your clients? It doesn’t.”

The nature of a successful career means there will always be conflicting responsibilities, a large volume of tasks, and a plethora of obstacles which need to be addressed. If you’re unable to feel less stressed when you are living in this reality, then your mood will always be at the mercy of repeating external factors which are out of your control. 

The Fleeting Stress-Free Sensation

Even if ‘X’ comes to fruition, the positive uptick and sense of stress-free peace is fleeting. 

• The satisfaction of a completed to-do list evaporates when the list is overflowing again two days later.

• The serenity of taking a day off for self-care is cancelled by the jolt of intensity when you return to work.

• The financial gain from landing a promotion is swallowed by unexpected expenses and expanding lifestyle needs.

• The gratification and pride of achieving a big goal seems anti-climactic and is quickly followed by a longing for another big goal to chase. 

When-X-Then-Y Thinking is an illusion. Accepting this fact is the key to take control of your stress and design a life you love.

The Solution to Be Less Stressed for My Frustrated Executive

Back to my frustrated client…

Stress relief was short lived because of When-X-Then-Y Thinking. She expected removing points of friction to be enough, but it was only half of the solution.

In the last article in the Ultimate Stress Solution series, I emphasized the importance of respecting both sides of the stress equation and how it’s caused by the unique way stressors and the stressees are combined. 

To create a happier, more harmonious workplace, she switched her attention to the other half of the equation – the stressees. They needed to join the delicate dance between stressor and stressee and improve their daily resilience and interpersonal problem-solving skills.

Together, they stopped enabling When-X-Then-Y Thinking. The conversation was no longer about blaming the ‘X’ issue. Instead, they focused on achieving their desired ‘Y’ result even if ‘X’ didn’t change.

Team members became less irritated by the constant workload and challenging clients by accepting they are inevitable aspects of growing sales, producing products, and serving customers. 

Slowly, but surely, drama was defused and morale improved.

Putting this into action

Life is fluid. One challenge will be swapped for another. What remains constant is your relationship with stress and how you react to, perceive, and solve problems.

The only true path to empowerment is to reject When-X-Then-Y Thinking.

Identify the ‘X’ variables you’re waiting to change. Ask yourself: Will your desired outcome be determined by today’s circumstances, or do you want ‘Y’ enough to find a way to achieve it regardless of whether the external factors improve?

All it takes is applying my methods – one simple solution at a time.

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