She didn’t believe it at first, but now, she does.

I assured my client, this tiny tactic has the power to stop destructive-stress momentum, make it easier to solve problems, and turn boring conversations into more interesting ones.

This executive hired me because she was sick of feeling overly stressed. She wanted a simple solution to reduce stress fast.

In the first 45-minutes of our strategy session, she dropped variations of the word stress 28 times before I stopped counting.

Everything was stressful.

It didn’t matter what she was describing. Changes at work – stressful. Her heavy workload – stressful. A fight with her husband – stressful. Constant construction causing traffic jams on her morning drive – stressful.

Every time she declared her stress, I imagined frantic little minions inside of her body yelling at each other, “Chaos squad – activate now! Tigers –incoming. Launch the stress-hormones explosion protocol – again! Again!”

No wonder her stomach felt tied in knots – her minions were working overtime. Yet, there were no tigers; just typical issues given her successful career and busy life.

Since everything was labelled as stress, stressful, or stressed, she didn’t know where to start to fix her problems. It was as if variations of the stress word had become an acceptable speaking tick similar to um, ah, like, and ya’ know.

She was officially spinning in society’s downward spiral of destructive stress.

The truth is, variations of the word stress are not acceptable adjectives for everyday conversations.

The word stress has powerful consequences. Every time you declare or exaggerate the stressfulness of a frustrating or mundane situation, you cloud your view of circumstances and make problems harder to solve. It’s like swatting the panic button to activate stress minions for duty.

The Experiment: Will Deleting the Word Stress Reduce Stress Fast

I related to my client. In the midst of my burnout, I needed super simple techniques to alleviate pressure.

Becoming aware of my own tendency to overuse the word stress put a magnifying glass on it. This prompted an experiment.

I wondered what would happen if I stopped describing situations as stressful. Would choosing more specific, accurate words lead to stronger situational awareness and self-awareness? Would better words reveal clearer paths to effective problem solving?

I knew deleting the word stress couldn’t hurt me. It’s not as if my emergency stress squad needs me to articulate the incoming tiger before they jump into action and explode a survival-stress hormone bomb.

But was my habit of announcing danger when there wasn’t truly danger, waking my stress minions unnecessarily?

I pledged to delete the words stress, stressed, and stressful from daily conversations in hopes I could stop sending false alarms. I called this challenge the Pick a Better Word Game.

The Pick a Better Word Game

As I explained to my client, the rules of the game are simple.

Stop repeating how stressed you are and break the habit of describing every irritation as stressful. When you use the word stress, simply ask, ‘What’s a more specific, accurate, or objective description I could use instead?’

Why does this tiny tactic work?

Because the words you choose, once combined, create stories about how you interpret situations. The stories you think, speak, and consume impact your mindset. Mindset influences emotions: emotions lead to behaviours, and behaviours determine your quality of life.

Therefore, if you want a better life – start by picking better words.

When you state the stressfulness of a situation, your obedient little worker-bees won’t filter your constant requests. When you say ‘stress,’ they say, “Okay, boss. We’re on it; sending reinforcements now.”

At the very least, if you’re going to use the S-Word in conversation, name it fully empowering stress (good), destructive stress (bad), and survival stress (unavoidable, necessary.)

This is explained in the second post in the Ultimate Stress Solution series: Better Define Stress: The 3 Bucket System To Change Your Life.

Using this framework offers additional insights to know if there’s an opportunity to be excited about a situation, if you have power to alleviate the angst, or if you need to run to safety.

My Client’s Results After Swapping the Word Stress

My client agreed to play the Pick a Better Word Game for one week.

Before we finished our session, we practiced exchanging the word stress to describe situations in a different, clearer way.

• Changes at work shifted from stressful to unsettling. This focused us to identify what was actually changing and explore her resistance.

• Her heavy workload shifted from stressful to overwhelming. This focused her to take control of her workload by using my Task Circle system. [You can get access to it by clicking here: Optimize Your Workweek online course.]

• Fights with her husband shifted from stressful to hurtful and disappointing because she felt sad starting her days with an argument. We focused on resolving repeating moments of angst each morning. [We used the same system I outline in my online course: Fix Your Family’s Morning Routine Fast!]

• Traffic jams shifted from stressful to slow-moving. We created a plan to leverage the slowdowns for learning and entertainment.

In our next meeting, she explained, “At first, the game was tedious.” She described it as stressful then laughed at the irony of her description.

She continued, “After two days, I noticed I used the S-Word a lot. Changing it for clearer words shifted my mindset. I felt more control over the chaos. Also, my husband said he was happier because I stopped complaining about how stressful everything was.”

I thought this may have triggered extra friction at home, but she explained how much she appreciated her husband’s willingness to play along. This simple solution improved their communication as a couple. Over the years he’d become numb to her complaint about everything being stressful. More clearly articulating challenges better equipped him to support her and vice versa.

Putting this Into Action: Give Your Stress Minions a Much-Needed Break

I challenge you to test this theory.

Today, count how often the word stress is used in conversations.

Tomorrow, purposefully describe every situation as stressful.

At night, consider how agitated you felt throughout the day. How much control did you feel over solving your problems?

The next day, do the opposite.

Swap the word stress. Are you less overwhelmed? More self-aware? More confident about solving problems?

The goal is to give your little stress minions a break so they’re ready to go when your body really needs them. Take control of your stress before they stage a revolt and call HR because you’ve burned out.

All it takes is one simple solution at a time.

What’s Next in the Ultimate Stress Solution Series

‘But Allison, all of my challenges are stressful.’

This leads to the next post in the Ultimate Stress Solution series when I’ll challenge how we’re taught to measure stress. You’ll be relieved to learn your issues may not be as stressful as you’ve been told they need to be.